Getting dumped or even being on the side taking out the trash can be a rough time. Breakups can be so rough that they could take you on a ride of doing things you never would have thought of doing, ever, like fighting or even crying your heart out in public; whatever the case maybe, presumably no one wants to go through one. The sudden loss of relationship can bring intense stress and heartache in anyone’s life and why wouldn’t it? When there is scientifically proven bio-chemical reason for all the pain and grief we feel.
This article aims to help you get through all the heartache and move on with your life with simple tricks and tips that you could use and would help you forget your lost love faster and perhaps get a new one. So here we have some of the best ways to get over a hard breakup.
One of the best ways to get over anything that bothers us mentally is by burning it out physically. Yes, exercising and getting your body in shape can help you boost up your self-esteem and could even help you get your smiles up when you’re depressed and sad about things coming to an end. Even for people with slender and perfectly fine bodies, exercising can help keep our mind diverted from the sorrow as most of us tend to think about whatever happened much too obsessively at these hard times.
9. Look outside, pay attention to life
Consider the fact of looking outside the broken relationship with the person and remind yourself constantly that you do have a life after all. Look at issues that are bothering you, relationships that you might have been jeopardizing while you were focusing only on that one person and all in all set your present life on track. Figuratively most of the times when we are hit by a hard breakup, we mess a thousand other issues in our Life while trying to fix that one thing that seemingly wasn’t in our control after all.
8. Don’t Rethink
Sometimes even if the breakup was solely your own decision, all the good times and moments you shared with your partner may cause you to forget all the things about them that made you break it off in the first place. Do not second-guess your decision, even if you were on the side that was dumped. It is a very common thing to do, reminiscing about all the good times and even reaching to a point where you convince yourself that you could get back with them and perhaps it could work out better than before, it will NOT! Don’t play that game with yourself.
7. The Turn-offs
One of the fastest ways to get rid of your ex’s lingering memories is to frequently keep reminding yourself about all the negative aspects of the person. Not necessarily all negative, but at least the things that you think were his/her turn-offs. You could paint a picture in your mind of this person with all their bad characteristics, without being hateful or by hating the person. For example you could remember things like, how his/her hair smelled funny, he/she never bought me a gift; you get the point.
6. Get Rid of Memory Triggers
The time after a breakup is always to get you in with the new throwing away the old and stale. At these moments anything from a song, a place or even a smell could trigger your memory back to how nice & rosy all of it used to be, so you want to make sure you are consciously avoiding or not paying attention to such triggers. Get rid of things you can, that constantly keep reminding you of him/her. If you have a keepsake like a watch or piece of jewelry, that only reflects the good aspects of your relationship; there is nothing bad with keeping such a thing as long as you don’t dwell on your negative feelings looking at it.
5. Make a to-do list
Keep yourself as busy as you can, with work and make a list of things you have to get done with or things that need a little straightening. Making a list of things you need to do could help keep you diverted from the fact that you’ve just been through a breakup and even that a hard one. You don’t want to get caught up in a low-self esteem trap thinking she/he was the best you deserved. At times like this one, just think about what if one of your friends was in your situation; what would you say to him/her? ‘’Get as far as you can from the relationship, it was no good for you.’’
4. Keep Your Space
Most of the times even after dumping the person, some of them tend to keep in constant touch with you and try to convince you they’ll make it up to you by being a good friend in your life. There is nothing wrong with being in good terms with the person even after all that has gone down, but remember to keep the amount of space you need to get over the feelings of sympathy or getting back together. At least don’t see the person for a while, don’t call or text, no FB, not even IMs, although you are not required to do this on a permanent basis but only until you can converse with the person on a purely friendly level without an ulterior motive.
3. Surround yourself with good vibes
Talk with your friends and share with them whatever you might be feeling, this could help you figure out what is it that you’ve been doing wrong and what is it that just cannot seem to let you get over it. The best remedy to get over a bad heartache is to surround oneself with happy faces and smiles hanging out making time for various ‘feel good activities.’ Surrounding yourself with good vibes can help uplift your self-esteem and help you put back the smile on your face.
The Mantra is to meditate it out, not medicate it in. Taking medication for lame reasons at these rough times can be stressful on our bodies. With all that’s going on inside our minds, medication only tends to worsen the functioning of the body which gets us spiraling down into a deep depression and eventually make us fall sick. Meditation not only helps calm the mind but also helps our breathing, which in fact helps get enough oxygen to the brain and results in us avoiding negative and traumatic feelings.
1. The Attitude of Gratitude
Have you ever wondered why is it that people who are grateful for their good always get more of things to be grateful for? It is because whenever you’re feeling gratitude, your feelings are grounded and you tend to look at things that you are proud of or things that you love about your Life. It is simply impossible to be feeling grateful and depressed at the same time. Hence, working with the attitude of gratitude at these rough times can actually be helpful, if you manage to see the good in you and everything around you. Also, remember that things fell apart with your ex for a reason, a better one for that matter; and that reason could be just waiting around the corner, only if you’re willing to let go of the past and embrace the present and see it.
Final Conclusion: Picking up the shattered pieces of what was once known as your heart is definitely a hard thing to do, but even harder is letting go of an everyday routine that you had pretty much been addicted to for a certain time period and act like nothing as such ever existed. The best anyone can do at such times is, create something magnificent in their lives by turning all the negativity into positive energy. One thing’s for sure, it is just mesmerizing what people do in the name of love, but what’s even more amazing is what love does to people.
Nikhil is musician by choice, writer by profession. Currently, studying Bachelors in Hospitality.